UK & Ireland Domination Tour Part 2

What an amazing couple of days. I managed to get through my talk yesterday at the CILIP YLG conference, and it went well I think. Librarians are a lovely, welcoming and forgiving bunch. I was disheartened to discover, however, that librarians in the UK are under fire (a true endangered species) even more so than in Canada. And this, in one of the birthplaces of so much incredible literature. It boggles the mind.

I also got to chat more with the lovely Harriet and Isobel, who work for Andersen Press. You can’t see the tagline on the poster, but it says “A Love Story For Cynics.” I also got to talk more to the amazing Phil Earle, author and publisher-guy and early champion of “Molecules.” His company publishes Kenneth Oppel in the UK, so Ken can attest that Phil is just an awesome human being. When my talk was done, I was whisked away by my UK editor, Charlie Sheppard, for our first of two trains to get to her parents’ house near Leeds, in Yorkshire. I have to be honest: I was a little worried. I’ve only met Charlie in person once before, in March 2015, and I liked her very much – but now we were going to spend five hours on a train together, then I was going to spend a night at her parents’ house, then we were going to spend Sunday together because she’d kindly said she’d take me to see Haworth. I thought, “What if we don’t have anything to talk about?” Well, I needn’t have worried. We talked, and talked. We also laughed. I’m going to try to explain, but it will only work if you VISUALIZE what I’m describing.

So. The toilets on this train. They operated on this weird pneumatic system, with a series of buttons. You push “open” and the door slowly slides open. You step in. You push “close.” The door slowly slides closed. Then, and this is very important: You MUST PUSH “lock.” Now, I did this. But when I got back to my seat, Charlie was quite worried – “I meant to tell you to lock it, did you lock it?” “Yes.” But then I began imagining out loud what it would be like if I hadn’t locked it – and someone pushed “open” outside. You’d be sitting on the can … and the door would start to open … in slow motion … And there would be nothing you could do about it! And then, either you, or the person outside, would have to hit “close” … and you would just have to wait … and wait … while the door slowly closed. I was already laughing, then Charlie told me the story of someone close to her who’d had that exact thing happen to him. He’d been coming home from a stag. Was super hung over and had a really bad stomach. And went to the loo. And was sitting, doing his business … when the door sloooowwwwwly opened … And he shouted, “Noooooooo!” – and leapt off the seat … making a mess everywhere … trying to hit “close” … And EVERYONE IN THE CARRIAGE SAW HIM.

By this point, we were both laughing so hard, we were crying. We were also in a four-seater – two seats facing two seats – and there was a man beside me. I felt so sorry for him. He must have thought we’d escaped from the loony bin. I honestly can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. I’m laughing as I write this.

Suffice it to say, by the time we got off that train I had deeply, deeply bonded with Charlie.

We took a cab from Leeds train station (where I saw Leeds on a Saturday night – oh my god, that is NOT a pretty sight), out into the countryside, to her parents’ home. It is a RECTORY. And it is freaking gorgeous. I was nervous to meet her parents. But oh my goodness, I liked them from the get-go. David and Lynn are warm, welcoming, and funny. I had a wonderful night’s sleep in “the French room,” and Lynn spoiled us with a massive breakfast. Then the four of us set out for Haworth. Yes – Charlie had arranged for me to see Haworth Parsonage, home of the Brontë sisters, because she knew it was a dream of mine. We had such a memorable, special day. The drive was beautiful. In the car park, Lynn served us coffee. Then we toured the parsonage. I have to say, it really meant a lot to me to see it. I was a huge “Wuthering Heights” fan, and read “Jane Eyre” and “Agnes Grey,” and read many books about the Brontës. To see where they had lived their short lives, and written their novels, was surprisingly moving.

The desk where Anne, Emily and Charlotte wrote their novels.

Afterward Charlie, David and I walked through the moors for an hour. I walked through MOORS! It was beautiful! Then we went into Haworth, which is super charming, for lunch. I got to have a rather Canadian Thanksgiving dinner of turkey, Yorkshire pudding, potatoes and veg. Then, for dessert, I had my first spotted dick. I enjoyed saying to the waitress, “I would like a spotted dick.” I enjoyed asking Charlie, “Do you like the taste of spotted dick?” I enjoyed eating it and saying, “Spotted dick is delicious.”

Spotted Dick really is delicious!

Afterward, I saw the pub where Branwell Brontë drank himself to an early grave, and the shop where he bought his opium. Then the four of us got back in the car, and they kindly drove me to Huddersfield and my hotel. I’ll spend the next two days here, doing school visits. I was sad to say goodbye to Lynn and David, and of course Charlie. It was such a memorable day.

The locals, by the way, pronounce Huddersfield Oodersfield. All I know about it is that “Happy Valley” was apparently filmed close by. Tomorrow, it’s a couple of school visits … I hope to do more walking around the area, it’s really very beautiful. Here are a couple of shots from my evening walk. Okay, more in a few days … Ta-ta for now!